Wow, see how fortunate I am!

When ever I get a fortune cookie I tend to save the fortune. Most of them eventually disappear, but I do make an effort to hang on to those that are interesting (or very flattering).

Here follows a bunch of sayings from Chinese fortune cookies I have gotten:
(OK, so they're probably really printed and cooked here in America, but you know what I mean...)

• Your are careful and systematic in you business arrangements.
  black print, one smiley face at start, lucky numbers on back, in red, set of five and six (grammar error as it appears)
• Your mind is creative, original and alert.
  blackprint, smiley before and after, green daily and Lotto Six on back
• A warm smile is testimony of a generous nature.
  red print, lucky numbers on front, in red, set of six
• Guard yourself against evil temptations.
  red print, lucky numbers on front, in red, set of six
• Say hello to others. You will have a happier day.
  red print, lucky numbers on front, in red, set of six, on back: learn Chinese, in red, "Ceramics"
• You'll accomplish more later if you take some time for yourself.
  large black print, lucky numbers on back, in green, set of three and six
• Time is the wisest counsellor.
  tiny black print, smiley faces before and after, lucky numbers on back, in black, set of three and six, labeled daily and lotto, with two more smiley faces
• How you look depends on where you go.
  red print, lucky numbers on front, in red, set of six, on back: learn Chinese, in red, "Today"
• God of Fortune is beckoning you.
  red print, lucky numbers on front, in red, set of six
  This is the most ominous fortune I've ever received,
  every time I read it my butt cheeks clench and I hear the cry, "Bohica!"
• You emerge victorious from the marsh you've been travelling in.
  red print, lucky numbers on front, in red, set of six, on back: learn Chinese, in red, "July"
• The wheel of good fortune is finally turning in your direction!
  red print, lucky numbers on front, in red, set of six, on back: learn Chinese, in red, "Ice Skate"
• Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.
  black print, smileys before and after, lucky numbers on back, in lavender, set of six
  Of course I got this one when I did take out and was sitting at home eating alone... (wot, the curtains?)
• You have a yearning for perfection
  black print, smiley before, lucky numbers on back, in lavender, set of six
• Idleness is the holiday of fools.
  black print, smileys before and after, lucky numbers on back, in lavender, set of six
• You are contemplating some action which will bring credit upon you.
  black print, smiley before, lucky numbers on back, in lavender, set of six
• Your present plans are going to succeed.
  black print, smileys before and after, lucky numbers on back, in lavender, set of six
• A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.
  black print, smileys before and after, lucky numbers on back, in lavender, set of six
• Ideas you may believe are absurd ultimately lead to success!
  red print, lucky numbers one front
• Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.
  This one must be especially fortunate since it appears to have been in the laundry yet is still readable.
  black print smileys before and after, green daily & lotto numbers on back.
• A happy and harmonious family is important to you.
  Another especially fortunate one, it also appears to have been in the laundry yet is still readable.
  black print smileys before and after, green daily & lotto numbers on back.
• You are generous to an extreme and always think of the other fellow.
  black print smiley before, green daily & lotto numbers on back.
• You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.
  black print smiley before, green daily & lotto numbers on back.
• You have a reputation for being straight forward and honest.
  and believe me that has hampered me at work more than once ...
  black print smileys before and after, green daily & lotto numbers on back.
• You are going on well with your business.
  Heh.
  black print smileys before and after, green daily & lotto numbers on back.
• Happy life is just front of you.
  ... presumably because the back of me that gets that unhappy thing.
  black print smiley after, red daily & lotto numbers on back.
• Your act of kindness will warm anothers soul.
  because no good deed goes unpunished, so I'll no doubt be roasting in hell to provide heavens central heating.
  red print, green numbers on back.
• You will be a great success both in the business world and society.
  black print with simleys, red numbers on back.
• Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
  black print with smileys, red numbers on back.
• Our first and last love is ... self-love.
  black print with smileys, red numbers on back.
• It's time to update your romantic style.
  grey print, daily numbers and lottos six # in red on back